Soul Care - Walking Wounded

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

We are all walking wounded. Both the words we use and the words we absorb can build bridges that empower us to reach unimaginable heights, or they can wound us to the deepest fathoms of our soul. That old sticks and stones saying? That’s a bunch of hooey in my book! Words can hurt.

And if we’re not careful, woundedness can perpetuate. Too often have I been in a reactive mood to something that happened in my day, and passed that negativity on to my family, or anyone who happened to be nearby. 

Maybe someone was curt with me, or I felt misunderstood, or treated unjustly. I can imagine the times I turned around and was curt with my husband, short tempered with the kids, or was passive-aggressively slinging dishes into the dishwasher like a Greek wedding was about to take place. Maybe I was scowling when I walked by someone, brooding to myself, but made eye contact and had a negative effect on their day. We tend to lash out where we feel the safest, and often our families are the ones that suffer. Remember the cheeky saying, “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

If any of this sounds familiar, and I’m betting it does if you consider yourself human, don’t guilt yourself. We all have our bad days. There is a valuable lesson to be learned by everyone involved when we put on a cloak of humility, admit our wrongs and ask for forgiveness. 

But what if we can find ways to shield ourselves from even having that gut wrenching reaction in the first place? What if we turn the tables on what may (or may not) be intended to cause pain?

One of the most growth inspiring messages in the Bible comes from Romans 12:2 (NLT), “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

I’ve learned through the years that when someone says or does something that hits me the wrong way, before I internalize it, let alone respond or react, I need to take some time step back, think and breathe. I’ve learned it is vital to understand we are all created so vastly different, and in that blessing of diversity lies the immense propensity to misunderstand each other. 

We often don’t know what the person that caused us pain is going through, or if they even realize they’ve caused the pain. Maybe they’re being abused, prone to negativity, or subject to generational repeats of destructive patterns. Maybe they just had a bad day. The possibilities are endless.

The point is, that snapshot of that person in that moment may be unrealistic, flawed, and not a true representation of who they are, or how they feel about you.

Perhaps it’s time to unlearn some things we have learned from wounded people.

-To release perceived injustices in order to grow and live well.

-To give yourself permission to take something that was said to you, but didn't feel right or never settled well within you, and release it, knowing you don't have to live by someone else's agenda or standards for your life.

-To get rid of the soul clutter and make room to live for an audience of One, the Spirit that lives within, speaking your truth into your soul.

Don’t get me wrong, there are powerful and positive things we can learn from wounded people. My purpose in encouraging women, especially moms, originates from times of pain. The message of encouragement is that even though the pain happened, God brought healing, deliverance, hope, answered and even unanswered prayers. He has better plans than what we pray for in our lack of omniscience.

The important lesson I learned was not to linger in that place of pain longer than necessary for healing to begin. To not wallow in the should’ve mindset, but to step out of the muck and onto solid ground where I could take baby steps in a positive direction.  

If you feel stuck and unable to move forward,  give yourself permission to release that which is negative and holding you back from being the masterpiece you are created to be. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

If you don’t know where to begin, lean toward faith and positivity. Fill your mind with positive and inspirational thoughts. There are some great apps out there for daily inspiration, or calendars if you're more of a paper person. In the encouraging words of Jeremiah 29:11, “I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans for peace, not disaster, to give you a future filled with hope.”

I leave you with the words of Norman Vincent Peale, whose books I highly recommend, “The way to happiness: keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Fill your life with love. Scatter sunshine. Forget self, think of others. Do as you would be done by. Try this for a week and you will be surprised.”

What do you do to fill your mind with positivity and inspiration? What apps bring you daily inspiration? What scriptures or inspiration quotes speak to you when you feel stuck in the muck? Please share your thoughts below.